March 26, 2007 at 7:54 pm (adoption)

My last post got me thinking of all the things I did when I was pregnant. Although my daughter was in my womb she was still there. She experienced things through me. Those things belong to just the two of us. Those were her true firsts. I guess I had more of her than I realized.

My heartbeat was the first thing she ever heard.

I was the first one to take her to the beach.

She felt the ocean for the first time through me.

I protected her from her first hurricane

She heard her dad play his gutair for the first time with me

She heard her brothers laugh

She went on her first road trip with me and her dad

We played with puppies

Her first shopping trip for clothes was with me. (yes I bought her clothes for when she came home with me)

Her first doctors appointment

Her first loss was even with me (something too personal to share)

and my heart was the very first one she ever heard break.

There are so many more things that we did together for the first time but I won’t ramble on and on.

These things belong to just us. No one can take them away unless we let them. I was there for all of the firsts. All the ones that matter.

I miss you baby girl



  1. Enigmatik said,

    You were her first love.

  2. Michelle said,

    One of the nice things my child’s first mother did was answer a long couple of pages about personal things – likes, dislikes, etc.

    It has ended up in some neat conversations here. My daughter Hayley loves Japanese and Chinese food, she would eat it at six years old. Beef with broccoli, fried rice, teriyaki chicken. And then I remembered it was on the form that it was her birth mom’s favorite foods. I told my daughter that I bet her mom ate a bunch of it while she was pregnant and that is why Hayley loved it so much at a young age. (i didn’t say it was true, just that i bet it might be)

    She loved hearing that, hearing a connection that was good and healthy. And several years later, when I talked to her birthmom on the phone, she told me that I was right and she had eaten a lot of it.

    Small things like that make me happy. We aren’t all bad … some of us are trying hard to play fair and be honest.

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