Why?

May 31, 2008 at 11:20 am (adopted, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, first mother) (, , , , )

Why do adopters think it is perfectly acceptable to talk a bunch of shit about their aquired child’s mother online? Do they really think all first moms are stupid? Like we can’t google just as well as the rest of society. We are obviously not smart enough to type in your name and adoption and hit the damn search button. Geeee wizzzz when I don’t have someone telling me what to do I just walk into walls all day long!!!! Thank Goodness I have so much “help”

So while I was not googling people I stumbled on some things….

If I’m completely honest, part of me feels like she’s trying to take a title that she really doesn’t deserve. What if she got to a place where people convinced her she would have been a better parent and should kept him?

Oh Lord No!!! She might be empowered and feel confident in herself. Maybe she thinks you are trying to take a title you don’t deserve. How can she not deserve the title mother? She gave birth to that boy and loved and nurtured him for an entire pregnancy. Now she doesn’t deserve the title that makes her feel good because it isn’t birthmom. WTF??

As it turns out, T has been communicating with some first moms who are very bitter and resentful. Some are in “open adoptions” where the adoptive parents have cut off contact, so many of these women are distrustful of all adoptive families.

Hey Guess what…. us bitter resentful bitches can google too! How do you know these women are bitter and resentful. You admit to not knowing them. Maybe you should know someone before you throw around insults. I’m sure I can think of a few things to call you. If you really cared about this woman you would thank your lucky stars she has friends who understand the depth of her pain. (you never ever will) At least she isn’t alone crying in her pillow with no one to talk to. You should be writing thank you notes to her bitter resentful friends for helping her deal with you.

lately I feel like DD’s birth mom is constantly doing this “sibling comparison” thing. for example, she emailed me a pic of DD as a newborn and a pic of her (almost one year old) DD as a newborn and said, “Can you tell them apart?” Also, every time I talk about a developmental milestone, she will say older DD did that right then too. It’s weird. I appreciate the info, but I feel like she thinks everything is “preordained.” Or that DD has to be so much alike her siblings

The nerve of that woman! Comparing her kids to each other. Doesn’t she know she is required to ignore all similarities she sees in them! Its in the paperwork somewhere.

 She doesn’t even know anything about her. Yes, she gave birth to her and I am grateful she chose our family as adoptive parents and I’m not saying I don’t ever want to talk or hear from her again but it’s so hard because this is OUR daughter now, she couldn’t even tell you what her favorite book is, what her first words were or what her favorite things to eat are. It’s really frustrating and just makes me cry.

The only reason she doesn’t know that stuff is because you won’t let her. Do you really think she doesn’t want to know every detail? All she has is the crumbs you decide to throw her yet it is somehow her fault. Like it or not lady, that little girl has 2 mothers. It might be time you treated the other one with some dignity and respect instead of blaming her for things that are clearly of your doing.

Now I must go vomit

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4 Comments

  1. Mary said,

    can you call me? I really need to talk to you..

  2. Sarah said,

    Who is this woman you are quoting? She needs help, the things she is saying, what the hell is wrong with her!

  3. aislin13 said,

    The quotes are from several adopters. I found them and many more on a popular adoption forum. (puke puke) The most upseting part is that one (not telling which) is about my best friend. It is full of self serving lies and she was devestated. It makes me wonder what is written about me out there.

  4. christy said,

    It’s sad that last one… does that lady not realize that it is HER fault that the bmom doesn’t know her daughter???? That’s how I feel… I don’t know anything, I haven’t known any of my daughters favorite things since she was 3 because her amom doesn’t tell me and heaven forbid they let HER talk to me…. ugh

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