For Real?? You’re Kidding Right?

January 2, 2010 at 1:30 pm (adoption, adoption reform, adoptive parent) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I was brought to my attention last night that there is a blog written by an adopter that has linked several mothers that I know as well as a couple adoptees. This “blogger” has just discovered the horror that some people don’t believe adoption is all sunshine and rainbows.  People that think families should not be destroyed to create another “family” and that people are not interchangeable is just shocking to her. If you have the stomach for it, you can read the whole thing here

http://gracecomesbyhearing.blogspot.com/2009/12/best-hope.html

I want to touch on a couple of things from her post and since her comments are on moderation I will be doing it here.

While I do agree many of the people in the adoption reform movement have had bad experiences with adoption it in no way negates the need for reform. That is like saying that a rape victim just had a bad experience so there really isn’t any need for tougher laws. It is also not just women in this movement. There are quite a few male adoptees and fathers that fight the good fight right along side the women. Some of us are totally anti adoption (myself included) and some of us are not. You really must not have read very much if you didn’t notice that. Some of our supporters are adoptive parents that have seen the truth of what is being done to acquire these babies for people willing to pay the fees. Most people with any compassion or empathy would want to stop a corrupt system that profits from snatching babies from their mother’s breast and selling them to the highest bidder.

As for the woman’s story you link, It should make you cry. it should make you weep for that family.  Drugging a woman that has just given birth is evil. That woman had a very complicated delivery that ended in an emergency c section. They tied her tubes “while they were in there” making it impossible for her to ever have another child. If she had signed a contract to buy a freaking lawnmower while under that amount of medication, after a major surgery, while still bleeding in her hospital bed it would never hold up in court. Yet because the word adoption is on the paper it was perfectly legal for them to get her to sign away her much beloved son. The son she had already named and who’s siblings were waiting for at home. This should make you do more than shed a few tears. It should make you rage for a mother, father and 3 children whose lives are utterly destroyed.

Make no mistake, their lives were destroyed. They will never be ok. They might live, laugh, love and enjoy aspects of life but forever their will be an empty spot beside them where that little boy should be. Do you have any idea where that woman is now, 4 yrs later? I do. She is trying to survive for the child she has left. She spends all night curled up n the couch crying and looking at pictures of that baby. She tries anything to forget for even one second that her baby is out there being raised by people that used her and lied to her. It doesn’t work. It never works. She remembers every second with every cell in her body and it is killing her. How do I know? Because I am the one talking her down at 4 in the morning when she doesn’t think she can go on any longer. I am the one holding her hand all night long. I am the one scared to death every time his birthday rolls around tat she will do something understandable but tragic. I am the one that has to watch her self destruct with guilt and pain while I am powerless to stop it.

So you are damn right we are angry. No one in their right mind wouldn’t be angry when faced with this hell. I am not mad at God. I am angry at people. Evil selfish people who use others for selfishness and greed and then throw them away like garbage. These acts are not God’s plan.  It is offensive for you to even suggest that they are. God does not destroy one family to “build” another. God does not approve of lying and stealing to get what you want. Jesus preached of loving our neighbors and taking care of them not stealing children because you have more money. Evil acts are NEVER God’s plan. God weeps when he sees his children treat each other this way. So don’t feed me your God’s plan crap. That is all it is crap. Why isn’t it God’s plan for the infertile to remain childless then? It sucks when the shoe is on the other foot huh?

I won’t even get into your dribble about blank slates, second best or the way you make sure to type “natural mother” every single time tonight. I have used up enough energy on you for one evening. Oh and if you are going to try to take us on at least have the guts to post comments

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