Another Child Being Held in Utah

December 12, 2010 at 10:09 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, help, justice, law) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I was recently contacted by a father trying to stop his daughter from being adopted. He has asked for any advice and help he can get. Please help him if you can. Even just getting his story out is a great help.

My name is Keary Watson and I am the proud birth father of a beautiful baby girl named Elizabeth Renee Watson. She was born on August 11th 2010. I want to start out by thanking you for taking the time to visit this site and taking the time to hear my story. I love my daughter dearly and will do everything in my power to have her home with me where she belongs.

My daughter Elizabeth has recently been placed with a family for adoption without my knowledge or consent. Her mother, Rebecca Prestwich made the terrible decision to “sell” my daughter to a family within the LDS church in the state of Utah without my knowledge or consent. Rebecca has signed away her parental rights and placed Elizabeth with an adoptive family. She did this AFTER Elizabeth was two months old. As Elizabeth’s father I cannot comprehend how Rebecca could make the choice to sell our beautiful daughter away to strangers. These actions sadden my heart. I have always made Rebecca aware that I am her father and will always take care of my child. I cannot understand why she would have chosen this option but sadly she has. I pray that Rebecca can live with the decisions that she has made and I seek comfort in knowing that I will correct the bad choice Rebecca has made and will never give up trying to do so.

It appears as though I have a bigger battle ahead of me to get Elizabeth back home than I ever imagined. Over the last two weeks I have been made aware of A LOT of other cases similar to mine. This is prevalent throughout the US with many birth mothers doing this in the state of Utah because of laws that exclude birth fathers. I am fighting for my legal rights as her biological father to get my daughter back. I did not give up my daughter for adoption. I would NEVER give my daughter up for adoption. I am her natural father and I am her recognized legal father on her birth certificate. I have been a part of my daughter’s life since the moment of conception and have continued to be her father in the fight to get her back home with me where she belongs.

Please help me to spread the word and what I am fighting for. From reading other cases it is people like you who are helping make a difference. Again, I would like to thank you in advance for any help you give. Words cannot express my gratitude.

I am requesting donations to cover legal expenses, travel and accommodations in Utah where my daughter is being kept. Please visit the link if you can help.

http://apps.facebook.com/fundrazr/activity/08e22911a5dc42a39688c50f0549fe92

I would also like to ask everyone to take the time to write the Utah Attorney Generals office and the US Department of Justice about my case. The more people start talking about baby brokering/human trafficking by people abusing Utah laws – the more the authorities are going to look into it.

 E-Mail: uag@utah.gov 

US Department of Justice

 

Mr. Dustin PeadUS Department of Justice185 South State Street, Suite 400Salt Lake City, Utah. 84111Phone: 801-524-6924 Fax: 801-524-5682

lfowlke@utah.gov, react@reason.com, subscribe@reason.com, letters@reason.com, rmenlove@utah.gov, bcferry@utah.gov, jdraxler@utah.gov, fhunsaker@utah.gov, curtwebb@utah.gov, kwgibson@utah.gov, gdonneson@utah.gov, gfroerer@utah.gov, neilhansen@utah.gov, lshurtliff@utah.gov, bdee@utah.gov, rgreenwood@utah.gov, pray@utah.gov, coda@utah.gov, daagard@utah.gov, kgarn@utah.gov, jfisher@utah.gov, rogerbarrus@utah.gov, sherylallen@utah.gov, pauln@utah.gov, jgowans@utah.gov, cduckworth@utah.gov, jseelig@utah.gov, rbecker@utah.gov, christinejohnson@utah.gov, dlitvack@utah.gov, jdougall@utah.gov, rozmcgee@xmission.com, janicefisher@utah.gov, jbiskupski@utah.gov, lwiley@utah.gov, ronbigelow@utah.gov, nhendrickson@utah.gov, koryholdaway@comcast.net, markwheatley@utah.gov, priesen@utah.gov, csmoss@utah.gov, ehutchings@utah.gov, jdunnigan@utah.gov, lhemingway@utah.gov, toddkiser@utah.gov, jbird@utah.gov, wharper@utah.gov, tcosgrove@utah.gov, mwalker@utah.gov, karenmorgan@utah.gov, merlynnnewbold@utah.gov, greghughes@utah.gov, cwimmer@utah.gov, melbrown@utah.gov, gsnow@utah.gov, jmathis@utah.gov, ksumsion@utah.gov, cfrank@utah.gov, ssandstrom@utah.gov, bdaw@utah.gov, keithgrover@utah.gov, cherrod@utah.gov, sclark@utah.gov, blockhart@utah.gov, atilton@utah.gov, mikemorley@utah.gov, ppainter@utah.gov, bwinn@utah.gov, brad.king@ceu.edu, kaymciff@utah.gov, blast@utah.gov, bbowman@utah.gov, mnoel@kanab.net, dclark@utah.gov, surquhart@utah.gov

We have made a facebook page for anyone that would like to show their support http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Give-Elizabeth-Back-to-Her-Daddy-Keary/123989397664887

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Announcing …..

July 19, 2010 at 12:27 pm (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, adoptive parent, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, help, Independant Adoption Center, justice, law, natural mother) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

I told you guys a little while back I was working on something. I still am working on it but figured it was about time I let you all in on it. Its not just my project. There are some wonderful people helping and sharing ideas. I have been truly inspired by working with them. So here goes….

We have stated a new group to support all people separated by adoption.

We are dedicated to support those struggling with adoption loss. We provide confidential support and information through a moderated support forum and a monitored nightly chat room.

We aim to prevent further unnecessary separations by uniting adoptees and firstparents in the mission to prevent dire situations, life circumstances, and oppressive belief systems that result in adoptions.

We aim to support families searching for family members, beginning a reunion, struggling with the complex emotional issues of a reunion or dealing with a failed reunion.

We aim to raise awareness of the life long consequences of adoption separation for mothers, fathers, adoptees, siblings and extended family.

We are an affiliate of Origins International.

I would love to see some of you on our forum! We even have a section for Allies that aren’t connected to adoption. Check us out but keep in mind we are still building.

http://connections-usa.org

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Resolutions

January 1, 2010 at 10:56 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, adoptive parent, birthmother, birthparents, Cindy Jordon, first mother, help, Independant Adoption Center, Jamie Kiefer, justice, law, natural mother, Stephanie Bennett) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Its the beginning of a new year and with that comes resolutions.  I have many resolutions. Some are the typical kind to do things like lose weight, be more active and be nicer to my brother. I know most of that won’t happen. (sorry bro) I have a few resolutions of the adoption nature.

 My big one is to write at least one entry on this blog a week. It sounds so easy but I know it will be very very hard for me to keep. Anyone in the adoption community knows how cruel it can be. Heartless comments and personal attacks are an every day occurence. I think we all know that natural mothers take more than their fair share of that. Its easy to hurt them. Its not very hard to know what to say to twist the knife in their heart. Before my break the comments had been getting to me more than I could deal with. This led me to my second resolution

Boundaries, they aren’t just for adoptees and APs anymore. I am setting some pretty major boundaries for this blog. I was trying not to hurt so many people that I was hurting myself. I will not do that anymore. On this blog mothers that have lost children to adoption are mothers or at the  natural mothers. They are not birth anything and even first will not be permitted in some cases. If you comment with the b words I will simply edit it to say natural. I hate to do that but its my blog and I am sick of the disrespect.

On the subject of language, I will refer to people that adopt on a case to case basis. I have met some people that have adopted that truly understand what is happening in the adoption industry and I refer to them as adoptive parents. Why? Because they show me respect and I return the favor. The whole two way street thing. However, if you are an asshat that happens to have adopted you will be refered to as an adopter or worse. I will not hold punches anymore for people that swing with everything they have.

So there ya have it folks. This new year you do not get a kinder gentler Aislin. I tried that and it sucked. You get a more direct, stronger and honest Aislin. If you don’t like it I am truly sorry but no one is forcing you to read.

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IN MEMORY OF CINDY JORDAN

April 9, 2008 at 12:36 pm (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, adoptive parent, birthmother, birthparents, Blogroll, cbs, Cindy Jordon, first mother, help, Independant Adoption Center, Jamie Kiefer, justice, law, natural mother, Stephanie Bennett, Uncategorized)

I had several posts swirling around in my little brain today but this is so much more important.

Cindy is remembered and will be as long as I live. I never knew her. I never spoke with her. Yet she probably would understand me more than my own family. We are forever connected. We are connected by a deep soul crippling pain.

I am so sorry Cindy!! I understand. Even though we never met, I love you as a sister. I am sending your family all the positive energy I have. Every year a candle burns brightly in a small window in NC for you.

http://www.remembercindy.com/

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DEMONS IN ADOPTION

September 22, 2007 at 10:19 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, Blogroll, cbs, first mother, help, Jamie Kiefer, justice, law, Stephanie Bennett, Uncategorized)

On october 4th the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute will hold their annual Angels in Adoption gala, where several people will be honored with the Angels in Adoption Reward.

To raise a voice against adoption propaganda and this self congratulatory practive, Pound Pup Legacy is proud to introduce the first edition of the annual Demons of Adoption Awards.
This years nominees are:

Adoption.com, for systematically banning voices that oppose current adoption practices

Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute for awarding persons and organizations that promote the one sided point of view of the adoption industry.

Council on Accreditation for having fierce adoption lobbyists in their board of trustees, making the accreditation process a dubious conflict of interest affair.

National Council for Adoption for pushing the adoption agenda in pregnancy consultation.

National Safe Haven Alliance for promoting legislation that promotes child abandonment.

NYC Administration for Children’s Services for not checking up on Judith Leekin.

By voting You can help decide who will receive this award.

go here to vote: http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/7874

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Danny Again

August 8, 2007 at 1:13 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, help, Jamie Kiefer, justice, law)

I want to talk about some things said on comments by Danny’s family over on http://keepingbabieswithmommy.blogspot.com/. I don’t want to completely take over Kel’s blog so I will actually use my own for once.                                                                                                                                  I too have a brother. I am extremely loyal to him. I truly understand the loyalty you show your brother. I can not honestly say that I would not be online defending my brother the same way you are. Loyalty to family is a very good and noble thing. I understand that Jimmy is not a very nice person. I feel safe in assuming that with what he is in jail for. I also understand why your loyalty does not extend to Jimmy at this point. Sometimes people cross a line that we can not forgive. Once the line is crossed it can never be the same. Its sad but it happens. 

The thing I am failing to see is what Cali did to lose the family loyalty. I know her conception was a painful event for all involved but she didn’t do it. She is the only totally innocent person involved in this whole mess. Yet she is the one being thrown to the wolves with little regard. I know you are not very educated on adoption issues. You probably believe she will be just fine with love from anyone. She won’t miss her family because she is so young she won’t know the difference. I am sorry to inform you that infants do know the difference. I really wish you would read the words of people that were adopted. There are many blogs and forums online that will give you some insight. If you need some links email me or Kel. I would be more than happy to send you as many as you need.

 I beg of you to show the same loyalty to Cali you show to Danny. Please before its too late fight for this innocent little girl. Keep her in the family somehow. Love her for who she is not how she was conceived. She is your family. Don’t be blinded to that until its too late. She needs all of you. She needs her family.

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Baby Stealing 101

July 29, 2007 at 8:00 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, help, justice, law, Stephanie Bennett)

It seems like there are more and more cases of questionable “adoptions” in the news lately. Honestly it is starting to make me sick. I have had adoptive parents ask me where they get this reputation as baby stealers. Well folks, here it is. People like this being called adoptive parents is what does it. They are the entire reason. If you want that reputation to change help get rid of people like this…..

I am sure most of you have heard of Jamie Kiefer. A devastated mother whose child was taken from her. In her desperation she took her baby back. I see two main culprits in this story. The first is Jamie’s husband Danny. He made Jamie quit work when she was 8 months pregnant. He systematically isolated her from family and friends. Going so far as taking her to another town to give birth so no one could visit her. He then brings in culprit number 2, Jennifer. Jennifer has wanted a baby so he brings her to the house to see Jamie. The two set out to convince a clinically depressed Jamie that Jennifer should adopt the baby. Jamie did not call an agency or seek out people to adopt baby Cali. They came into her home and bullied her into it. Within 3 days baby Cali was baby Madison. 3 Days!!!!!!!!! Jamie quickly let them know she wanted her baby back but did they care? Of course not, they both had what they wanted. Jennifer had a baby and Danny had gotten rid of the child that wasn’t his. The more I find out about this story the more I think it is Danny and Jennifer that should be sitting in jail.

Next there is the sad but all too common case of Cody O’Dea. A father who very much wanted his child. A father that did everything right. He made sure he was on the putative father’s registry. He wrote letters to the adoption agency saying in no way would he consent to the adoption of his baby. He told the mother numerous times how he felt. It should have been simple. But noooooo. The mother went to an agency out of state and placed the child anyway. The out of state agency was completely aware of Cody’s wishes. He has fought from day one. His child should have been returned to him months ago. The adoptive parents have known about how this child was acquired yet can not even be bothered to give Cody a picture of his now 1 yr old child.  For more about Cody go to http://www.babyselling.com/

And let’s not forget Stephanie Bennet who still is without her baby.

I am quickly losing faith in this world. People like this get what they want at the expense of mothers and babies. Lately it seems like no one cares. Please prove me wrong and help stop this!

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Coersion Checklist

July 27, 2007 at 4:09 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, justice, law)

I saw this a long time ago. When I first read it I was scared by what I saw. I really  thought I was an isolated case. That this didn’t happen on a mass scale. To see it all out there was frightening.

So just to see it all in black and white I copied the checklist. I am going to bold all of the tactics used against me. I would love to see other moms do the same

Originscanada.org

====================================================

A. Psychological Coercion. Purpose: To convince you that you were unfit as a mother and thus had to give your baby to people “more fit’ or “more deserving.”

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

  1. You were told you that you were unfit to be a mother because you were ‘unwed’.
  2. You were told that you would be inadequate as a mother.
  3. You were told that keeping your baby would be selfish.
  4. You were forced to draw up a list comparing what you could give to your baby with what adopters could give.
  5. It was stressed to you that your baby “needed a two-parent family.”
  6. It was stressed to you that the needs of your baby came before your own needs and that you could not fulfill your baby’s needs.
  7. The doctor who delivered your baby told you that you must sign-over your baby to him for adoption. (Did you later find out that the baby was adopted by friends of the doctor?)
  8. You were told that if you did not surrender your baby, that your baby would be put into foster care until you did sign.
  9. You are told that surrendering your baby is an expression of how much you love your baby (message: if you keep your baby then you don’t love your baby).
  10. You are told that adoption is “thinking about what is best for your baby.” (message: adoption is best for your baby).
  11. You are told that adoption is “putting your baby’s needs first.” (i.e., before your own needs. Message: your baby does not need you.)

B. Psychological Coercion. Purpose: To convince you that you have an emotional obligation to surrender your baby.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

  1. You were told to think only of the joy that you’d “give to a couple who could not have children of their own.”
  2. You were told that if you changed your mind, you would be disappointing a wonderful mother who was “waiting for her first baby.”
  3. You were told that you could not keep your baby as your baby has been promised to someone already.
  4. You were encouraged to have the adopters pay your medical or living expenses such that you felt you “owed” them your baby.
  5. You were encouraged to meet with the adopters and after meeting them felt you could not bear to disappoint them by choosing to keep your baby
  6. You were encouraged to establish a relationship with the adopters, and then “fell in love with” with them prior to surrender.
  7. You were told by your parents that you could come home once you had “disposed of the problem” (i.e. surrendered your baby).
  8. You were encouraged to have the adopters in the labour or delivery room with you, for the birth of “their” baby, and thus you felt you could not bear to disappoint them by “changing your mind.”

C. Psychological Coercion. Purpose: To remove from you all personal support systems and make you reliant on adoption professionals for advice, counselling and emotional support. To distance you from any person who might try to provide alternatives to surrender.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

  1. Your family members or boyfriend were discouraged by adoption professionals from helping you..
  2. Your family members and/or boyfriend were prohibited from seeing you.
  3. You were incarcerated by your parents in a maternity home or wage home where adoption was stressed as “the loving option” and/or “the only option.”
  4. Contact with your parents, boyfriend, fiance, etc. was restricted by the agency, maternity home, or social worker(s).
  5. Your correspondence in or out of the maternity home or wage home was screened.
  6. Telephone use was restricted in the maternity home or wage home.
  7. Your boyfriend was lied to by adoption professionals that the baby was not his.
  8. You were told that your parents were coercing you by encouraging you to keep your baby, that “they only want to be grandparents.”
  9. You were encouraged to distrust anyone who didn’t support you surrendering your baby.

D. Psychological Coercion. Purpose: To psychologically and physically distance you from your baby in order to increase the probability that you would surrender. To ensure that surrender of your baby was seen by you a “inevitable.”

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

  1. Your baby was taken from you at birth by either medical professionals or prospective adopters.
  2. Your access to your baby in the hospital was severely restricted by medical and/or nursing staff.
  3. You were put into a ward other than the maternity ward for recovery, a distance away from your baby.
  4. Your baby was immediately transferred without your consent to a different hospital.
  5. While still pregnant you were labelled a “birthmother,” to put you into the mind-set that your only role in the life of your child was to give birth.
  6. You asked for your baby and were told “No!”
  7. You were told that you were not allowed to see your baby unless/until you signed the surrender papers.
  8. You asked for your baby and were told that it was best that you did not see your baby.
  9. You were given general anesthetic for the birth and kept under anesthetic until your baby was removed for adoption.
  10. You were given mind-altering drugs such as scopalamine by medical staff for several days after the birth in order to induce amnesia.
  11. Your signature was obtained while under the influence of mind-altering drugs administered to you by medical staff..
  12. The drug Stilboestrol was administered to you as a lactation suppressant without your consent.
  13. You asked for your baby back and the adopters stalled until the “revocation of consent” period had expired.

E. Psychological Coercion. P urpose: To psychologically traumatize you to decrease the chances of you bonding with your baby.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

  1. Information about labour and delivery was deliberately kept from you such that you were scared and traumatized by the unfamiliar process once labour began.
  2. You were left isolated and alone during labour.
  3. If there was a hospital attached to the maternity home, were you and other inmates forced to dispose of the placentas?
  4. You were physically assaulted and/or mutilated by hospital personnel during labour and/or birth (see “Catherine’s Story”)
  5. You were called derogatory names or otherwise derided by doctors, nurses or medical personnel during your pregnancy, labour or birth.
  6. The episiotomy was cut, or sewn-up, without anesthesia.
  7. The episiotomy cut thru ligaments, was cut down your leg, or was otherwise unnecessarily large.

F. Financial Coercion. Purpose: To make you feel financially pressured to surrender. Note: young single mothers are often in a financially-vulnerable situation anyway and thus financial coercion is often a major factor.

  1. You are told, or led to believe, that no social assistance was available that would provide you with the financial support necessary to enable you to keep your baby.
  2. You are told near or after the birth that if you change your mind, you would be liable for paying for medical bills or other costs beyond your ability to pay.
  3. The hospital refused to release your baby to you unless you pay them a large sum of money beyond your ability to pay.

G. Fraud. Purpose: To guarantee the surrender of your child.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

  1. Your baby was taken immediately into foster care with no explanation and kept there with the location kept secret from you until the social worker could use “abandonment” as a basis for revoking your parental rights.
  2. You were told at some point that the adoption was “final” and found out later that it wasn’t.
  3. You were told that your baby had died at birth and later found this was false. Note, this is known in the adoption industry as “rapid adoption” – see the article “Rapid Adoptions.” ALL single mothers who were told that their baby was stillborn and were not permitted to see the body should demand to see the certificate of death!
  4. You were told that the adoption was “final” and found out later that it wasn’t at that point in time.
  5. You were told that there were no other alternatives. (information about social assistance was withheld from you).
  6. You were led to believe that a promise of open adoption was a legally-binding agreement and the adoption later closed.
  7. You were told you would “get over it” and be able to return to your “normal life.”
  8. The documents were signed by someone else forging your signature without your knowledge or consent.
  9. You were informed after signing a “pre-birth consent” that it would be held binding in a court-of-law.

H. Withholding information from the mother. Purpose: To you to surrender by withholding known information about risks or negative consequences.

Methods used by “Adoption Professionals”:

  1. Information withheld about the known lifelong implications, risks, and emotional consequences of surrender (see www.birthmothers.info for information adoption professionals are aware of but commonly withhold)
  2. Information withheld about options that would enable you to keep your baby (i.e. financial assistance, temporary foster care, foster care for you and your child together, temporary guardianship, or filing through court for child support from your baby’s father)
  3. Information withheld about your right to independent legal counsel to explain the legal document you were signing and the legal ramifications of it and to be present in the room to protect your rights as you signed it.
  4. Information withheld about the existence of a “revocation of consent” period.
  5. You were not permitted to read the documents you were signing.
  6. You were not given a copy of the
  7. You were pressured to decide on adoption while still pregnant, or to surrender your infant without being able to first care for your infant for several weeks post-partum in order to make an informed decision about motherhood?
  8. Information withheld from you about your right to take as many days, weeks or months as you needed before deciding on adoption, if you decided on it at all.
  9. Information withheld about your right to care-for and nurture your baby in the hospital.
  10. Information withheld about your right to take your baby home from the hospital with you.

In Contrast: Your Rights as a Mother:

These are some of the rights that may have been denied to you, no matter what your age or social situation was when you gave birth:

  • You had the right to see your baby after he/she was born.
  • You had the right to hold, nurse, and care for your baby.
  • You had the right to be told the sex of your baby.
  • You had the right to independent legal counsel to explain the legal documents were were signing and to be present when you signed them.
  • You had the right to care for your baby without feeling pressured to decide about adoption within ANY certain time period.
  • You had the right to adequate financial support which would have enabled you to keep and raise your baby.

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Another Sad Story

May 4, 2007 at 12:46 pm (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, help, justice, law, Uncategorized)

Please read this story. If you can help this mom please do

http://www.opednews.com/articles/genera_mirah_ri_070502_guilty_until_proven_.htmhttp://www.opednews.com/articles/genera_mirah_ri_070502_guilty_until_proven_.htm

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Today I wept

April 18, 2007 at 7:56 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, cbs, first mother, help, justice, law, Stephanie Bennett, Uncategorized)

Today I wept for a girl I have never even met. I sobbed for that girl. I buried my face in my pillow and screamed her name.

Stephanie

Today is her beautiful baby’s first birthday and she isn’t there. She isn’t making cakes or wrapping presents. She won’t get to help that little girl make her first birthday wish ever. There won’t be silly pictures of them both in their birthday hats.

No matter what happens now that can never be given back to this young mother. She was robbed of this day by people who acted no better than kidnappers. How many more days will she be robbed of?

I am only a scant 6 months farther along in this journey than Stephanie and I pray that she never makes it to this point. I pray justice is done and she is with her child by then.

I remember the first birthday well. The throbbing pain in my chest. Aching empty arms. The horrible gross empty thing my stomach had become. The lump in my throat. The tears constantly threatening to spill down my face.

Don’t kid yourself people. Today Stephanie is in hell. But she doesn’t have to stay there. We can rise up and say that this is not something we will tolerate. We can help this young mother live again.

Today I am sending you all my strength Stephanie. Every little crumb I have of it is being sent your way.

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