Resolutions
Its the beginning of a new year and with that comes resolutions. I have many resolutions. Some are the typical kind to do things like lose weight, be more active and be nicer to my brother. I know most of that won’t happen. (sorry bro) I have a few resolutions of the adoption nature.
My big one is to write at least one entry on this blog a week. It sounds so easy but I know it will be very very hard for me to keep. Anyone in the adoption community knows how cruel it can be. Heartless comments and personal attacks are an every day occurence. I think we all know that natural mothers take more than their fair share of that. Its easy to hurt them. Its not very hard to know what to say to twist the knife in their heart. Before my break the comments had been getting to me more than I could deal with. This led me to my second resolution
Boundaries, they aren’t just for adoptees and APs anymore. I am setting some pretty major boundaries for this blog. I was trying not to hurt so many people that I was hurting myself. I will not do that anymore. On this blog mothers that have lost children to adoption are mothers or at the natural mothers. They are not birth anything and even first will not be permitted in some cases. If you comment with the b words I will simply edit it to say natural. I hate to do that but its my blog and I am sick of the disrespect.
On the subject of language, I will refer to people that adopt on a case to case basis. I have met some people that have adopted that truly understand what is happening in the adoption industry and I refer to them as adoptive parents. Why? Because they show me respect and I return the favor. The whole two way street thing. However, if you are an asshat that happens to have adopted you will be refered to as an adopter or worse. I will not hold punches anymore for people that swing with everything they have.
So there ya have it folks. This new year you do not get a kinder gentler Aislin. I tried that and it sucked. You get a more direct, stronger and honest Aislin. If you don’t like it I am truly sorry but no one is forcing you to read.
IN MEMORY OF CINDY JORDAN
I had several posts swirling around in my little brain today but this is so much more important.
Cindy is remembered and will be as long as I live. I never knew her. I never spoke with her. Yet she probably would understand me more than my own family. We are forever connected. We are connected by a deep soul crippling pain.
I am so sorry Cindy!! I understand. Even though we never met, I love you as a sister. I am sending your family all the positive energy I have. Every year a candle burns brightly in a small window in NC for you.
DEMONS IN ADOPTION
On october 4th the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute will hold their annual Angels in Adoption gala, where several people will be honored with the Angels in Adoption Reward.
To raise a voice against adoption propaganda and this self congratulatory practive, Pound Pup Legacy is proud to introduce the first edition of the annual Demons of Adoption Awards.
This years nominees are:
Adoption.com, for systematically banning voices that oppose current adoption practices
Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute for awarding persons and organizations that promote the one sided point of view of the adoption industry.
Council on Accreditation for having fierce adoption lobbyists in their board of trustees, making the accreditation process a dubious conflict of interest affair.
National Council for Adoption for pushing the adoption agenda in pregnancy consultation.
National Safe Haven Alliance for promoting legislation that promotes child abandonment.
NYC Administration for Children’s Services for not checking up on Judith Leekin.
By voting You can help decide who will receive this award.
go here to vote: http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/7874
Baby Stealing 101
It seems like there are more and more cases of questionable “adoptions” in the news lately. Honestly it is starting to make me sick. I have had adoptive parents ask me where they get this reputation as baby stealers. Well folks, here it is. People like this being called adoptive parents is what does it. They are the entire reason. If you want that reputation to change help get rid of people like this…..
I am sure most of you have heard of Jamie Kiefer. A devastated mother whose child was taken from her. In her desperation she took her baby back. I see two main culprits in this story. The first is Jamie’s husband Danny. He made Jamie quit work when she was 8 months pregnant. He systematically isolated her from family and friends. Going so far as taking her to another town to give birth so no one could visit her. He then brings in culprit number 2, Jennifer. Jennifer has wanted a baby so he brings her to the house to see Jamie. The two set out to convince a clinically depressed Jamie that Jennifer should adopt the baby. Jamie did not call an agency or seek out people to adopt baby Cali. They came into her home and bullied her into it. Within 3 days baby Cali was baby Madison. 3 Days!!!!!!!!! Jamie quickly let them know she wanted her baby back but did they care? Of course not, they both had what they wanted. Jennifer had a baby and Danny had gotten rid of the child that wasn’t his. The more I find out about this story the more I think it is Danny and Jennifer that should be sitting in jail.
Next there is the sad but all too common case of Cody O’Dea. A father who very much wanted his child. A father that did everything right. He made sure he was on the putative father’s registry. He wrote letters to the adoption agency saying in no way would he consent to the adoption of his baby. He told the mother numerous times how he felt. It should have been simple. But noooooo. The mother went to an agency out of state and placed the child anyway. The out of state agency was completely aware of Cody’s wishes. He has fought from day one. His child should have been returned to him months ago. The adoptive parents have known about how this child was acquired yet can not even be bothered to give Cody a picture of his now 1 yr old child. For more about Cody go to http://www.babyselling.com/
And let’s not forget Stephanie Bennet who still is without her baby.
I am quickly losing faith in this world. People like this get what they want at the expense of mothers and babies. Lately it seems like no one cares. Please prove me wrong and help stop this!
Today I wept
Today I wept for a girl I have never even met. I sobbed for that girl. I buried my face in my pillow and screamed her name.
Stephanie
Today is her beautiful baby’s first birthday and she isn’t there. She isn’t making cakes or wrapping presents. She won’t get to help that little girl make her first birthday wish ever. There won’t be silly pictures of them both in their birthday hats.
No matter what happens now that can never be given back to this young mother. She was robbed of this day by people who acted no better than kidnappers. How many more days will she be robbed of?
I am only a scant 6 months farther along in this journey than Stephanie and I pray that she never makes it to this point. I pray justice is done and she is with her child by then.
I remember the first birthday well. The throbbing pain in my chest. Aching empty arms. The horrible gross empty thing my stomach had become. The lump in my throat. The tears constantly threatening to spill down my face.
Don’t kid yourself people. Today Stephanie is in hell. But she doesn’t have to stay there. We can rise up and say that this is not something we will tolerate. We can help this young mother live again.
Today I am sending you all my strength Stephanie. Every little crumb I have of it is being sent your way.
Aborted Mother 