Demons of Adoption Award

October 15, 2008 at 2:40 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, justice, Uncategorized)


Last year we instituted our annual Demons of Adoption Award to raise a voice against adoption propaganda and the self congratulatory practices of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute’s annual Angels in Adoption Awards

This year we continue that tradition. Until November 1 you will have the opportunity to vote for the recipient of this year’s award.

The nominees are:

  • LDS Family Services for using coercive tactics in obtaining infants for adoption and for not respecting paternal rights;
  • The makers of Juno for helping to groom and brainwash a whole new generation of girls and young women to be walking incubators for the the adoption industry;
  • for systematically banning voices that oppose current adoption practices and their continuous pro-adoption propaganda;
  • Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute for awarding persons and organizations that promote the one sided point of view of the adoption industry;
  • Adoptions from the Heart for their continued cooperation with the totally corrupt Indian orphanage Preet Mandir;
  • Amici dei Bambini for being the driving force behind the concept of European Adoptions, as a way to re-open adoptions from Romania;
  • CPS in various states for pushing for quick adoptions on flimsy allegations to meet targets and quotas;
  • UK Local authority Social Services for pushing for quick adoptions on flimsy allegations to meet targets and quotas;
  • Canadian Children’s Aid Society for pushing for quick adoptions on flimsy allegations to meet targets and quotas;
  • District of Columbia Child and Family Services Agency for for not checking up on Renee Bowman.

You can cast your vote by following this link:


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June 21, 2008 at 10:08 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, justice, Uncategorized)

I finally joined the password club. I’m kinda raw about some things right now and I don’t feel like dealing with the Jims of the world. If you want the password drop me a comment or email

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April 9, 2008 at 12:36 pm (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, adoptive parent, birthmother, birthparents, Blogroll, cbs, Cindy Jordon, first mother, help, Independant Adoption Center, Jamie Kiefer, justice, law, natural mother, Stephanie Bennett, Uncategorized)

I had several posts swirling around in my little brain today but this is so much more important.

Cindy is remembered and will be as long as I live. I never knew her. I never spoke with her. Yet she probably would understand me more than my own family. We are forever connected. We are connected by a deep soul crippling pain.

I am so sorry Cindy!! I understand. Even though we never met, I love you as a sister. I am sending your family all the positive energy I have. Every year a candle burns brightly in a small window in NC for you.

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September 22, 2007 at 10:19 am (adopted, adoptee, adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, Blogroll, cbs, first mother, help, Jamie Kiefer, justice, law, Stephanie Bennett, Uncategorized)

On october 4th the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute will hold their annual Angels in Adoption gala, where several people will be honored with the Angels in Adoption Reward.

To raise a voice against adoption propaganda and this self congratulatory practive, Pound Pup Legacy is proud to introduce the first edition of the annual Demons of Adoption Awards.
This years nominees are:, for systematically banning voices that oppose current adoption practices

Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute for awarding persons and organizations that promote the one sided point of view of the adoption industry.

Council on Accreditation for having fierce adoption lobbyists in their board of trustees, making the accreditation process a dubious conflict of interest affair.

National Council for Adoption for pushing the adoption agenda in pregnancy consultation.

National Safe Haven Alliance for promoting legislation that promotes child abandonment.

NYC Administration for Children’s Services for not checking up on Judith Leekin.

By voting You can help decide who will receive this award.

go here to vote:

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Name Calling

September 19, 2007 at 4:29 am (adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, Uncategorized)

Rape me,
Rape me my friend
Rape me,
Rape me again

I’m not the only one

Hate me,
Do it and do it again.
Waste me,
Rape me my friend.

I’m not the only one
from Nirvana’s Rape me

These words evoke strong feelings in most people. I have no doubt many of you are recoiling in terror and disgust that I would even put these words on my blog. You’re wondering what I am thinking, what is my point, what am I getting at?

They are strong powerful words. They make you recoil. They should churn up feelings you would rather not have. Rape is terrible. It is a reality in our world that should be abolished. Most people agree that it is horrid and should never be condoned. But most people also refuse to see that it comes in more than one form.

I would love to say that everyone admits to the effects of physical rape but that is far from true. Victims are still blamed. Rapists are set free. The effects are ignored and the victims put down for having any problems years down the road. Yet some people still see it. Not enough but some.

Rape of the soul is almost completely ignored. (not saying either is worse pain wise) The victims are told to go on with life as though nothing ever happened. They are ridiculed and put down on a daily basis. They are called names that re-victimize them by most of society. They are told it is all their fault.

The way I was treated by the adoption industry was a rape of the soul. It is scary how similar the after effects are to when I was physically raped. Almost identical actually. Only this time no one will even see that it happened.

So what is my point? When you call me nothing but a birthmother, tell me it was my choice, say that I signed papers (which is still up for debate) you are re-raping my soul. It is exactly the same as when I was told I was a whore, my dress was too short, I was asking for it. Hearing the word birthmother inspires the same panic in me that hearing about a rapist does.

I know not every person whose child was adopted feels this way. Some are fine with being called that word. Some could care less either way. But that does not make it any less painful for me or the countless others that it hurts. It is not ok to re-victimize us because others are fine with it. It is not ok to call us something that hurts our soul so deeply. If you just simply can not respect us as fellow human beings enough not to do this then keep your mouth shut. Hell call me “Hey you” for all I care. Just do not call me that for any reason. EVER!

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Hide your Pregnant Stomach

August 2, 2007 at 2:38 am (first mother, help, justice, Uncategorized)

It is a scary scary world for pregnant women. Hide those buldging bellies girls. They are a huge bullseye. They make you a target for numerous crimes. Personally I will be staying in for the duration of my pregnancy. Not that it will protect me that much. At least I will feel safer until hospital time. What is the world coming to when pregnancy equals potential vicitm?  



Teens Allegedly Kidnap Pregnant Woman

Girls Planned to Take Her Baby, Authorities Say


Posted: 2007-08-01 12:10:54

Filed Under: Crime News, Nation News

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (Aug. 1) – Two teenagers kidnapped a pregnant woman they met online and took her to a motel in an effort to take her baby, authorities said Tuesday. The plan was foiled when one of the teens got scared and called police.

Prosecutors say Alisa D. Betts, 17, and Lauren M. Gash, 19, kidnapped Amanda Howard, 18. Gash, of Odessa, and Betts, of Atchison, Kan., were arraigned on felony kidnapping charges Tuesday. Gash also was charged with assault.

Police believe the suspects lured Howard into a car Monday, sprayed her with Mace and bound her with tape, according to the complaint from the Jackson County prosecutor’s office.

Gash and Betts are accused of then driving the victim to a motel in Blue Springs, a Kansas City suburb. The complaint said Gash sat on Howard’s abdomen and twisted her neck back and forth, “a substantial step toward” trying to “kill or cause serious physical injury” to Howard.

Betts apparently “started to get cold feet and exited the room and called police,” said Detective Troy Pharr of the Blue Springs Police Department.

The three women met on, a social networking Web site, Pharr said.

Bond was set at $500,000 for Betts and $750,000 for Gash, who were being held in the Jackson County jail.

It was unclear Tuesday evening whether Gash and Betts had lawyers. The Jackson County Sheriff’s Department said the women were in transit.

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July 6, 2007 at 2:57 am (Uncategorized)

I swear I have not dropped off the face of the earth. I promise to finish my story. I just can’t do it right now. Life has gotten in the way once again. I am not sure when I can get back to blogging. There is a illness in the family that requires my attention right now. It is hard and painful. I just don’t have the energy for anything else right now. I hope you understand. (pretty  sure you do)

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Adopters vs Adoptive parents

June 14, 2007 at 12:43 am (adopting, adoption, adoption reform, birthmother, first mother, Uncategorized)

I haven’t posted much lately because, quite frankly. the online adoption community has been making me sick. Its probably my fault. I know these people are out there. I should prepare myself better. I should be stronger but I’m just not. I read certain things and they are like a knife in my heart. It gets to be too much so I just stay away. I mean really, how many times can I be expected to read the same line of crap about how horrible, selfish and unfit first moms are?

So I figured something out while I was away. There are two distinct groups of people that adopt. There are adopters and adoptive parents. These two groups are like night and day. one group I find myself respecting and the other I loath.

I most commonly come in contact with adopters. (sucks for me) Adopters piss me off more than anything in this world. (well maybe not adoption professionals) They say things like “you were put in the wrong tummy”. Lovely things like “Our daughter’s birth parents had no business raising our daughter”.  They refer to first mothers as incubators. Since I am not adopted I won’t go into what this does to the poor children they have adopted. I am sure I can’t do it justice. I will let that part wait for someone else to write. Needless to say I hate hate hate adopters!

When I first started reaching out online I thought everyone that adopted was an adopter. I saw them all as my enemy. I hated them all. Then something strange happened. People that I thought were my enemy started reaching out to me. I was confused. How could they say that what happened to me was so wrong when they had an adopted child? I couldn’t wrap my brain around it. I know now it was just my pain speaking. Thanks to the wonderful people that commented here and spoke to me on forums I know know adoptive parents exist.

Adoptive parents are the complete opposite of adopters. They believe in ethical adoption practices. They respect their child’s first family. They are kind and have big hearts. A perfect example of this can be found here

There But For The Grace Of God « Just Enjoy Him: Ramblings of a Mid-Life Mom. I suggest you go read it. People like this do my heart good. They give me some hope. They are Adoptive Parents.

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A Fond Farewell

May 16, 2007 at 10:01 am (adoption, birthmother, birthparents, first mother, Uncategorized)

I know this was short lived. I thought it was going to be some great release. It would heal me and maybe help someone else. I was wrong.

Its hardly suprizing that I was wrong. It seems like I am always wrong. I can honestly say that there was not one desicion i made in the last 2 years that was right. I just seem to dig the hole deeper and deeper.

Now I am in over my head. I can’t find a way out. I am in another situation that requires me to choose between the people I love and the things I need most in this world. In truth it is an easy decision. I will sacrifice myself again. The only thing is that I know I will not be coming back this time.Every fiber that is left of me will be sacrificed for those that I love. I will be erased. I will no longer exist.

This is not what I want. I want to live and be happy. I want things to be ok again. I just can’t see another way. I can’t find the light at the end of the tunnel.

For all my talk of being able to see the world blinder free little did I know my blinders were there all along. My blinders only prevent me from seeing the truth about myself. I am not the strong person I pretended to be. I am the one that is not making it. I was the one fading away the whole time.

Maybe some miricle will occur and this was all written for nothing. Maybe someone some where can save me. It doesn’t look hopefull right now but stranger things have happened. All I know is that after almost 2 years of being forced into this life I am no more capable of living it than I was the second they took my only little girl. I said I couldn’t do it when she was born. I wasn’t lieing.

And before people start freaking and calling all sorts of people, this is not a suicide thing. I have know from the first moment there was no easy out for me. I wish there was.

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May 10, 2007 at 12:48 am (Uncategorized)

It also helped us raise $10,000 towards our birthparent outreach, so we are now 1/5 of the way to our goal of $50,000. Thank you to everyone who donated. It was a wonderful response, and we are looking forward to the expansion of our outreach program to birthparents and adoption services providers.

What exactly is birthparent outreach??

development of more specifically targeted internet advertising; and a complete re-evaluation of where, why, and toward whom we are focusing our advertising and marketing dollars.

Ok I think I get it now. So here are some suggestions on how to use that money more wisely. How about you have some support groups for first parents instead of the ones currently available for just APs? How about you actually provide some of that life time professional counseling you advertise. I mean real counseling instead of the 10 minute long distance phone call.

Another novel idea, why don’t you put some of that money into a factual information package for parents considering adoption. That would be swell!

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