Stinkin Dreams

March 27, 2007 at 6:00 am (adoption)

“Fall Into Sleep”

Dreams of earthquakes
Dreams of hurricanes
Dreams of pouring rain
Dreams of tidal waves…to wash us all away
Dreams of guns blazed
Dreams of fire rage
Dreams of swollen graves
Dreams of hollow pain
All gone

No more fallen
No more enemy
No more casuality
No more dream

Fall into sleep
Fall into me
I have a dream
But nobody cares
Nobody wants to listen

Fall into sleep
Fall into me
Hang on to a dream that nobody wants
Nobody cares anymore

Dreams of mourning grief
Dreams of disbelief
Dreams of tragedy
Dreams of our disease…to take us all away
Dreams of fidelity
Dreams of inner peace
Dreams of loyalty
Dreams of unity
All gone
All gone

Fall into sleep
Fall into me
I have a dream
But nobody cares
Nobody wants to listen

Fall into sleep
Fall into me
Hang on to a dream that nobody wants
Nobody cares anymore

The angels are injured
Fall with broken burning wings
Are we dead inside
Are we blind
We can’t keep moving forward
Backwards with closed eyes
We’re losing sight
All lost inside

No more fallen
No more enemy

Fall into sleep
Fall into me
I have a dream
But nobody cares
Nobody wants to listen

Fall into sleep
Fall into me
Hang on to a dream that nobody wants
Nobody cares
Nobody wants
Nobody cares anymore

All gone
All gone
All gone
All gone 

Mudvayne (again)

Apparently my memory dream was a sign of something just not something I wanted. It was a sign of the nightmares begining again. I thought I was past this part. Oh well. Back to 2 hours of sleep a night until it passes again.

One dream in particular messes my head up for days. Its not a scry dream. No mosters or chases. It probably wouldn’t seem like a huge deal to anyone else.

In the dream I am in a grocery store with amom. She is pushing a stroller and I am pushing the cart. Amom is putting various things in the cart I am pushing. I keep trying to look into the stroller but there is a big white blanket hanging over it.

It continues like this for sometime. Then we are walking down the road. Amom is still pushing a stroller covered in a white blanket. I am struggling to carry a bunch of shopping bags. Amom is talking my ear off while I am trying desperatly not to drop anything. The whole time I am trying to look into the stroller. Amom finally catches me trying to look and adjusts the blankets. She quickly says “You are not allowed to see her. Don’t drop my groceries”

Suddenly we are in a dark house. I am knelling down pulling food out of the bags. Amom is watching me but the stroller is gone. I put away all of the groceries and look up at her hopefully. She stares down at me for a minute and then tells me that I will not be seeing her today because I took too long with the groceries.

I start to cry and beg. Enter Adad… he pushes me out the door and I hear the lock click.

For some reason it is snowing outside. (it doesn’t snow where we live) I am running through the woods behind their house crying. For a reason I can’t figure out, I lay down in the snow and make a snow angel. I write her name in the middle with my finger.

Then boom I am awake. I shake and cry until I am scared of waking my boyfriend. I get up and write it in this silly blog. Ok so I only did the writing thing this time. Now it is time to finish crying and pretend to be asleep when the alarm goes off.

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